Archive for the 'Religion' Category

Quaker Mice

I am spending this week in beautiful Silver Bay, New York, on the western side of Lake George.  There, at a grand old historic YMCA summer camp, the New York Yearly Meeting of the Religious Society of Friends (Quakers) holds its annual summer conference.

I'll be on vacation at Silver     Auditorium, Silver Bay, NY     About Silver Bay, YMCA of the

Quakers are  a “peculiar people” and proud of being so.  But spending time with a whole nest of them coming from around the country and around the world is surely a blessing. 

Many readers are familiar with the drawing of three mice looking at a wedge of cheese and drawing different conclusions as to the shape of the object, based on their positions and perspectives:

picture1

 

Well, when Quakers meet to conduct business they don’t vote or persuade; they share perceptions and senses of what the right thing to do might be, and let it float out there until the entire group is in unity with the right decision.  Folks who have never watched this procedure or taken part in it themselves find it very difficult to understand, but the mouse drawing is as good an entry into it as any.

I just plain like the way Quakers think, how they approach problems.  Here in Silver Bay, or in my small Quaker Meeting in Cornwall, New York, a matter will be raised in a meeting for business and a period of silence will ensue.  Then someone will pipe up and say, in effect, “I see a rectangle here.”  There will be a pause for several minutes, and someone will say “I see a square.”

At that point most folks would see a disagreement.  But Quakers? 

Quakers sense there might be a piece of cheese nearby.

Negotiating With The Wolf

Prof. Joseph Allegretti wrote an interesting article ten years ago titled A Christian Perspective on Alternative Dispute Resolution, 28 Fordham Urb. L.J. 997 (2001).  In it he tells the tale of St. Francis of Assisi’s mediating a conflict between the residents of a town and a ravenous wolf that was terrorizing them, “devouring both animals and human beings.”

The story contains an interesting reminder of the Christian tradition of self-interested forgiveness, and also of the principle (espoused by all mediator trainers) that everybody has an underlying interest that informs their behavior — even (or especially) wolves.  

And it describes an unorthodox method of mediation in which the neutral starts off by telling each party that they’re schmucks. Read more »

Making Peace With “No” — Forgiveness and Mental Health

Frederic Luskin, Director of the Stanford Forgiveness Projects, reminded a packed house at the ABA Dispute Resolution meeting in San Francisco that a 2-yr old who is told “no” screams and yells when she doesn’t get what she wants, but then eventually stops and moves on to the next thing.  By contrast, a 40-year old who doesn’t get what he wants can persist in expressing his anger and indignation for many, many years; in some cases, he will never stop.  In this lies the attraction, for some, of the American civil judicial system.

Dispute resolution professionals often encounter people whose wound has morphed into an attribute of their very life.  Who they are is fundamentally tied with the claim.  They are no longer wife or butcher or brother or son; they are The One Who Was Wrongly Dealt With.  Dr. Luskin asked us whether we might consider not just helping that person to ”resolve” the dispute, but facilitating the removal of the conflict as a central mechanism of the relationship.  Might we help to guide wounded people past their wound? Read more »

The Law of Damages and Our Spiritual Traditions

It’s my turn to teach First Day School (what Quakers call Sunday School) for the past few weeks.  And as usual I’m having more fun than the kids are.  The King James Version of the Bible has been a favorite ever since I took Prof. Bond’s course on “The Bible as Literature” at Dartmouth (before the Punic Wars, it sometimes seems) and it is a delight to revisit that wonderful collection of superb writing.

Looking through the story of Moses has stirred some concerns, though, about what we Americans think justice is, and what we use the law to accomplish.  In particular, I wonder whether we have lost our fundamental cultural moorings a bit when it comes to our response to being injured. Read more »

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